My Relationship with food

Sunday, January 4, 2015


I have always been an eater of all things. I love the way that all food tastes. I like the way a simple meal can be turned into a all day event with people surrounding you laughing and loving and eating. I am not one that would pass up on the treats you made or a good cheesy something or other. Or the pasta. I love me some pasta. But what really gets me all wild is some good authentic Mexican food. I could eat a good spice bowl of that or you know what I really love, street tacos. Yep, that’s my all time favorite.

So when I announced to my family that I was going to get on the whole 30 trend. They were like “What?! Why?! You love fooooood!” My husband was the worst too because well he’s seen me at my worst. Binge eating and then crying because I did it. He didn’t think I’d make it. I’ve been on health kicks before but haven't we all. I remember at the start of our marriage he bought me work out clothes a ton of tennis shoes that I wanted and he watched as they sat there collecting dust.

He bought gym memberships after memberships and watched as I gave up a few days, weeks later. He watched as I came home and cried because I just got home from working out with my sister and I couldn’t run up the stairs she wanted me too.

He would comfort me. Take me out to a nice place to eat because he knew that would make me happy again. He has seen me at my worst.

So when he came home one day and I told him that I was going to get healthy again. He just passed it off. He passed it off when I shuttled him around to a different gym each week trying them out to find the best one. He passed it off when I bought work out clothes again. He passed it off when I went out running and was a little annoyed that I did. He passed it all off because he thought I’d give up like I did before.

He started to notice when I stopped binge eating. When I wanted to cook meals instead of going out. When I actually used the veggies I begged him to bring home with him from work. He started to notice when I kept running leaving him with the kids at night. He started to notice when I run a 5k. He started to notice when he bought me 2 pant sizes smaller in clothes. He noticed when he waited for me at the finish line at my half marathon and I ran into his arms and sobbed.

My relationship with food has always been more then the food part. It has been about the me part. The part where I judged myself, where I didn’t like who I was. The part where I believe that I wasn’t strong enough. That being unhealthy was fine, easier and acceptable.

The Whole 30 program for me is not a diet. It’s a kick start for me. It going to help me understand what food actually means and does to me personally. It will help me build a better relationship with my food. Give me to ability to still eat food I love but just in a healthier way.

I have already tried to pre start it not being so strict every day (but I have gone 2 weeks straight) so I will be ready and I already noticed the difference when I eat whole compared to eating processed foods. I already know that when I ate grains I become instantly grumpy and mean and then crash into a sleepy slumber mood. When I drink soda I get a cold the next day. Like I get a itchy sore throat and running nose. Cheese my favorite thing ever, gives me headache.

So it’ll be interesting to see if I can stick to a strict 30 day of no sugar, grains, dairy and legumes. If you would have told me 2 years ago that I would be a path to eating healthy food aka veggies and running half marathons (and training for more.) I would have thought you were crazy.

It just takes one day to believe in yourself and to work hard for more then a few weeks to see that it is all worth it. All of it.

Here is to getting healthy this year.

(If you want to join me on the whole 30 program I am starting on January 12th with a bunch of internet friends at Team Whole on instagram.)

No comments :

Post a Comment