Cody and I got in a fight this week. One of those you say things that you regret fights. Where the yelling out ways the talking and the tears run hot on your face. I am unsure really what it was all about. It seemed to consist of everything that bothered us about each other over the last few months which boiled up quickly and hit the fan hard.
A few truths did come out which made him think and which also made me think. One thing he said that rang true for me was that I am always negative. Once he said that I stopped and really thought about that.
Am I? Really? Do I tend to lean to the bad things? Have I lately? And to be completely truthful I have.
At work I am negative.
At home I am negative.
In my car I am negative.
When speaking with friends I am negative.
When speaking with family I am negative.
It has become a full time thing for me.
I rarely have positive things to say about co workers, about my friends, about my family, about anything really.
Why is that?
I know that I have good intentions. I know that I wish to spend my days in bright happy moments and that I long for them but cant seem to get there.
I could blame the pregnancy and say that I am full of hormones that make me go crazy. But then why was I this way before the kid was kicking the shiz out of my belly?
I could say that my IUD was making me crazy (which I think it was.) but really its mind over matter right?
I have come a costumed to being negative. I share only negative stories and thoughts. I demand that people be on the same level as me so I can relish in their own negative thoughts. I can relate to people who talk the same way as I do. I will get bored and tend to be bothered by you if you are happy or talk positive. I tend to do the pshhh yeah right face and push you off as being fake and will get annoyed quickly by your positivity.
So how do you get your positivity back? Well I did the whole “lets search Google and find out how thing” and I read this...
“Being a positive thinker is not about ignoring reality in favour of aspirational thoughts. It is more about taking a proactive approach to your life. Instead of feeling hopeless or overwhelmed, positive thinking allows you to tackle life's challenges by looking for effective ways to resolve conflict and come up with creative solutions to problems.”
So how do you do that? How do you become a positive thinker?
Well I think it all comes down to a choice. Am I going to be negative about this or can I choose to find the positive? The more times I choose to be positive the more likely I will be just that, positive. And knowing that my attitude effects the people and actions around me needs to matter more than it has. The more I am negative the more negative things will surround me. But can you image how it will be if I choose to be have positive things around me? It would be amazing.
I am going to choose to be positive today. Are you?