10 steps to get your kids to bed instantly and look hot while doing it.
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Step one: Get up super early, have a quick breakfast consisting of no nutritional value and throw some unfrozen water bottles in a backpack because you thrive on being unprepared for adventures.
Step two: Dress your kids in pants and regular shirts and yourself in a tank top.
Step three: Slather your kids in sunscreen and totally forget about yourself in the process until its too late.
Step four: Take them to a local air show where the only shade available is underneath a huge ass plane wing that everyone else has already claimed by the time you get there.
Step five: Sit in the sun for hours on end looking straight up into the sky and dowse yourself in water because its 90 degrees and your hot but make your kids drink the water because “its not for showers its for drinking.”
Step six: Eat as much over priced junk food you can.
Step seven: repeat step three.
Step eight: Walk around with the rest of the crowd looking at the over priced toys that your kids have to have because when will you ever be able to purchase them a cheap plane that normally costs 5 dollars for 14 dollars instead. Never. Its all about the memories people.
Step nine: Continue to stay in the hot sun for eight hours straight.
Step ten: Drive home, make a quick dinner shuttle your kids to bed way before their bed time which they gladly accept and look in the mirror and realize that you are the hottest looking momma alive. Literally the hottest.