We’ve always been kid planners.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

The other night, I had a very strange dream. I was at my house with my kids who were outside playing. I proceeded to go outside and see that they with the help of our uncle (whose been working on our add on) built a crazy waterslide in all the holes we’ve have in our yard now for the add on. As I walked out there to check on them I saw them laughing and splashing in the water so instead of going out there with them I went back inside. As I came inside I went into the living room and picked up a dark full headed haired baby and began to nurse it. Just as I did that my father in law who passed away walked in the room and began to smile. As I looked up to see him I woke up.

For about a week after that or so I felt like I was pregnant. But kept writing it off that I was just paranoid. On the day I was suppose to get my period and didn’t I waited until my husband left to take our oldest to karate and I rushed out and picked up a pregnancy test.

As I sat waiting for the test results to come I kept thinking that if it is true how I would tell my husband. We’ve never really had a scare before. We’ve always been kid planners. This time was different, this time it was a surprise.

I looked down at the test and saw a very light + sign. It was to light to share the news yet with my husband. So I waited, panic and waited for a few more days to pass and I picked up the test that would tell me the word pregnant or not.

When the results came in and I saw the word pregnant. I took another test, and another test again and they all came back pregnant.

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I could not swallow. I’ve never not planned a baby, what will my husband say, how would he feel. What were we going to do? Gunner my youngest is only 1 1/2. Am I ready?

So I waited again.

Until I couldn’t anymore. I showed him the test and he did what I would have if I was him. Walked out of the room and say that I couldn’t handle this right now. Because lets face it, that is what I did for a week.

The next morning, as I was getting ready for the day he said these words that made me know that he was and will always be on the same page with me and that regardless of what comes up we will do everything together. He said “So instead of making Gunner’s room into your office we will just keep that the babies room right? And put Gunner in the new room upstairs.”

Simple but what I needed to hear.

It still has taken me a little bit to wrap my head around that fact that I will be a mother again. And I know that I blessed to be able to bring a little one into the world and I am now starting to feel excited about my surprise buddle.

I am only 5 weeks along and surprisingly my due date is the 1 year anniversary of Cody’s dad’s passing February 4th. We believe that Rulan is sending this surprise buddle down to us and we are gratefully scared but grateful nonetheless.

Linking up with Mama Kat

5 comments :

  1. That is such a touching story! We've always been "planners", too, so I totally get how freaked out you were. But add in that dream, and yes, you certainly have a little gift from Heaven on the way - Congratulations!!

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  2. We are one and done-ers because of health reasons so if we were to have a surprise, man, I don't even know the feels I'd be feeling (that whole sentence has horrible grammar written all over it...I'll own it).
    It gave me chills though reading that the due date is the 1 year anniversary of his Dad's passing. What are the odds? I hope that all goes well. Things will surely work out. The love is there and that is all that matters :)

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  3. Congratulations. Though, I couldn't tell which Mama Kat topic you were doing here.

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  4. Oh. my. goodness! This is similar to how we would react I'm sure, but at the end of the day...we just don't regret children you know? They might not always be what we planned, but they always end up being what we needed. Congrats!!

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  5. We planned both our children too, so a surprise would freak me out a bit too, but might just be what is needed at that time. After all how can you regret such a wonderful thing!

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