I must be Pmsing

 
I must be Pmsing or I'm just being a bitch (who knows stupid IUD fouls me up.) but god am I one mean ass person lately.  I have been demanding, needy, and cry at nothing all the time and I swear I am craving something but like I know what the hell it is… I just know that I want it NOW!

I cant sleep and when I finally do sleep I am having some weird ass dreams which I’ll never admit too and I am lazier than normal and guess who gets the brunt of it all. Yep, your right the poor husband.
He is still down stairs avoiding me after I threw some hissy fit over well I cant remember but the point is… well there is no point but I guess what I am getting at is that being a girl or a “woman” is hard sometimes and we have feelings and stuff and sometimes we are just mean but not on purpose. Gosh.

Oh, one question before I end this ridiculous post…. how do I convince the husband that its time to have another baby? Any ideas? (and don't use you get to have more sex excuse I've tried that its not working.)

Don’t you effin roll your eyes at me.

Currently I am listening to some indie music found on a blog that I was reading. As I sit in my warm attic office. Its making my mind drift off in different places. I planned on writing about Wyatt's first time at preschool and how I cried in the car when I left him today. Which he did nothing but be good, just like I taught him, which made me cry harder.
But instead, I am stuck on the how its hard have a conversation with my husband.

I just stomped my way up the stairs to cool off after having some stupid fight with the husband. Do you ever just have those times when you like Oh my hell, cant we just have an adult conversation?! Currently I feel like that right now.
I got off work late. like late, late. Wyatt already dead asleep late because some regional guys are coming to walk our store tomorrow so we had to clean the shiz out of it so I'm tired. All I want to do is sit and not think or do anything.

Cody’s sitting in his chair in front of the TV watching the shows we have recorded on the DVR and he starts to go off in a “certain” tone on how the dish guy is coming tomorrow and we need to have the shows transfer off this for that and we might do this because of that and all I said was I'm concerned if this happens and bam an eye roll. which instantly rubs me the wrong way. It makes me think this…

Okay first of all I am tired, annoyed, pissed already because right when I get in the door you start to “lecture me” on what I need to do when you had all night to do it and secondly why is it that anytime I express my concerns you effin roll your eyes at me.

So I of course go in for the kill not thinking just reacting to everything he is saying and yell this… Cody, blah, yell, pissy fit, blah yell, annoyed, shaking my head, arms crossed, yell and this… and that and if you could only talk to me like an adult… he says something which I of course ignore and I say something else because I am determined to get the last word in which I did by the way, stomp upstairs while mumbling to my self learn how to have a conversation!
and I sit stewing. And then I realize… oh my god we just had a fight because he rolled his eyes at me. Whose the one acting like the adult now.

The morel of the story is… marriage is hard people your going to fight Especially when your spouse rolls his eyes at you. over stupid stupid things. The trick is apologizing and admitting when you are wrong or that you hate when your husband rolls his eyes at you and if he didn't do that in the first place you wouldn't have yelled and then maybe have some make up sex.

You know depending on how you feel.

You’re 59

My dad, is one of the most amazing people I know. He is wise and full of advice. He is the person I turn too when I am in need of life direction. Not only does he tells it like it is but he speaks it in such a way that makes you feel like even if you go against his advice that he would support you anyway.

He is a great man, a great soul a wonderful father and the most excellent grandfather. He is a man that Wyatt already looks up too and that I tried earnestly to find a husband to match he’s soul. On this day, On his birthday I just want to express how much I love him, how much he means to me and how I am glad that he is in my life. 

Dad, daddy. You are by far one of the greatest men I have ever known. You are a strength not only to hold our family together but holding my family together. With out your wise words and support I know that I would be in a worst place in my life. I love you dearly and am so glad to call you my dad.

Happy Birthday.

Dear blog

 
Dear blog, I am sorry that I‘ve been spending all my time with instagram. I will try harder to build on our relationship.

Dear camera, I am slowing learning to love you again and cant wait to share the work we’ve done together lately.

Dear work, One day we will end our relationship and it will be epic but for now I will see you in a few hours.

Dear new house, I am so in love with you and I cant wait to hang photos on your walls.

Dear HBO-go, thank you for being here when Dish cant. I wouldn't know what to do with out TV.

Dear you, my readers thank you for sticking with me. I hope soon that I will be able to provide you with more.

On my day off

 
And I have so much shiz to do today such as:

1. get off the computer and get breakfast (yes get because we have no food.)
2. go to the postal office and change our address.
3. unpack the kitchen, living room, bathroom, bedrooms
4. move the furniture in the proper places
5. hang pictures
6. bring all the little things left at the apartment
7. clean the crap out of it (seriously my apartment is gross)
8. take Wyatt to the dentist
9. upload all the pictures on my camera
10. edit/blog them
11. blog
12. blog oh I miss you
13. blog
14. hang the shower curtains
15. take a nap because man I am so tired just writing this list.

we are finally home

                                                                         (me age 18)                                                                                                                                                             (Wyatt sleeping in box he was afraid I’d leave him.)

Right now, I am sitting in my new house bed less and surrounded by boxes. Cody’s in his new recliner reading the newspaper, I just got done reading blogs on the newly connected internet connection and Wyatt is asleep in a tepee that we set up in the living room.

 

Its quite, a nice quite. The kind of quite that makes you feel completely comfortable. The quite were all you start to hear are the crickets chirp, the air conditioner blow and the quite turning of the newspaper.

 

I am home. 

 

This place doesn’t feel odd, different or scary like it did when I moved out at 18. It doesn’t feel complex, nervous or anxious like it did after Cody moved in.

 

It just feels like home. A completely comfortable home. Our completely comfortable home.

As I write these words the room darkens, Cody kisses me then quickly nods off on the couch leaving me to bask in the quite this excellent quite the “we are finally home” quite.

Because man, are we finally home.

Today my day starts at 4am

Yeah, Wyatt thinks its pretty funny that my day starts at 4am. Well I don't jerk! I went to bed early last night which I hate because I like my time to do whatever when the kid falls asleep cause that's the only time I ever get with out having someone saying mom mom mom mooooooooooooooooom at me every two seconds. Its bliss.

Then I got to wake up bright and early this morning (yay!) so I can head to work to do inventory. Which if you’ve ever done retail inventory yeah, it sucks balls. (that's my new favorite saying lately eeek sorry.) Then I get to leave early (like 10ish) from work so I can head to my sisters wedding (which btw who gets married on a Wednesday.) Which I am excited about because its not in a church gym like most Utah weddings so it should be a good one. So be prepared to see a lot of instagram photos of it. 

It will be a long day I doubt I'll get a nap and then guess what I get to do tomorrow!?

Work plus Pack/move again!!

YAY!! (that  sucks balls too. ugh.)

Happy first day of August everyone!

(Yes, I am still packing/moving and yes we have not slept in the new house yet. We currently are waiting for our closets to be done, to have bath curtains and our TV to be set up. We can not live with out those things. Seriously, those words have come out of our mouths. Plus if I move in I have to unpack the kitchen which means I’d have to cook which leads to doing dishes so I'm milking it for as long as I can. wouldn't you?)