My kid is an asshole.

Can I just say that literally after I wrote and posted the last post I discovered that all that whining I did about me trying to be simple and blah blah blah its me not them is well bullshit. Because I have determined now that it is them. I have been getting angry and have become a shit mom because well I just cant stand it anymore.

The whining and debating and the negativity that has consumed my house lately is insane. I like to say that if mommas happy everyone's happy. But that's not the case here.

If you have read for awhile you know that my husband suffers from depression and that tends to put everyone else in the same funk and well I‘d like to think that he could snap out of it but… he has yet too. Now my six year old is starting, okay not starting but is exactly like him. He does the same whines, has the same issues that his dad does and never can see the positive in anything and having two people like that is driving me insane.

So I think by simple I mean by not having assholes around all the time.

You might think this is dramatic and well it could be but to me its not. Let me explain. We just got home from walking the dogs because I just finished that half hearted post and I was like LETS WALK THE DOGS GET FRESH AIR IN OUR LUNGS LIFE IS GRAND!!! and cue in the dramatic tantrum from Wyatt. The whining and the I don't want too….. WAH WAH WAH WAH. All the while I just grinned and barred it.

I smothered the kids in their jackets, dealt with the overly excited dogs trying to get their god damn leash on them all the while trying to convince Wyatt that a walk is good for us! You’ll see! I promise!

Then we walked and it was my feet hurt, I don’t want to push the stroller anymore, I cant hold the dogs leash mom. But we endured and took a nice hour long walk. When we got home we checked the mail and I was excited because our Christmas cards arrived and I thought Wyatt was too because he couldn’t wait to open them.

So we get in the house took off all our coats, feed the dogs and then we opened the cards and the first thing Wyatt screamed was “ I hate them!” well fuck you I thought. What an asshole.

And then well I just couldn’t take it anymore its been months of him and months of the husband not liking this, not wanting to do that or whining because I made them do something and then I some how I become the bad person in all of it.

So that was it.

I said well “Screw you Wyatt. Stop being such a asshole. I am sorry these are not to your liking but that’s what I made and took hours to make. So that’s what well be sending out.” Insert bad mom of the year here.

Yep, I called my kid an asshole and nope I don’t even feel bad for it. Because in that moment I felt like he needed to hear how big of a jerk he was being.

I got up and started to do the mad clean you know where you clean your house and grumble under your breathe about everything and anything and then in like 20 minutes your house is waaaay cleaner that it has ever been and you feel better. Yeah, I did that.

Then Wyatt and I had a heart felt conversation about manners and why it was important to consider other peoples feelings and why complaining about everything wont ever make the situation you are in any better and we talked about how to over come all of it and he apologized and I did too.

Then we made a plan.

We a planned to spend more time with just each other. We set a date wrote it on the calendar and then we did it.

And as I finish this post a few days later I realized how much I love Wyatt and how interesting he really is becoming and that spending a whole day together just him and I is important and was clearly needed.

We took the dogs on a walk, we talked over chocolate chip pancakes for lunch, we held hands and hugged more. We laughed and then we dressed ourselves in our best clothes and went and saw a live musical together.

and it was magic.

So even though this post started off as angry, bitter and filled with emotion I wont take it back. Because we both learned something that day. Me, I learned that not only do I need to live that simple life I talked about on the last post but that I also need to live the hard ones too and be true to how life really is around here.

It’s messy, tough, sometimes mean but its also wonderful, magical and full of days that can completely knock out those bad ones.

Today was one of them and I hope tomorrow will be too.