I need to get my simple back.

I am going to be honest with you and with myself. I have sucked lately. Sucked at life sucked at being a mom sucked at being a wife and sucked at my job. I have been selfish and demanding and more than normal. I have eaten a ton of crap and vegged out on the couch for hours and got annoyed when my kids wanted my attention.

I think about all the things I should be doing and should be better at when I am in the shower and I started making myself promises. I am going to wake up earlier and work out. I am going to have my house cleaned before noon. I am going to take the time with each kid. I am not going to get annoyed at Wyatt when he wants to talk to me about nonsense crap. I am going to love my husband more. I am going to….

and then I don’t do it. I do the opposite.

I am at this point in my life that I need more. More excitement, more adventures, more love, more of something.

I want to explore who I am I want to wake up to a simple outline of life.

A life that is planned out and one that’s not planned out.

A life different from the one I have now.

I am done with sitting at home, talking to the same people, doing the same things, dealing with the same problems.

I know that a lot of this has to do with me. That living a life that revolves around just my kids is turning into a an healthy one.

I need to work on me.

I don’t know who I really am anymore. Its not because of work or because of my husband or my kids. Its because I let myself slip away from my simple.

My simple is…

Adventures outside, hiking, climbing, digging, getting dirty.

Running.

My simple is eating fresh food, cooking, exploring new tasty healthy foods.

My simple is laughing with my kids, letting them be kids by getting dirty, by letting the house fall to the waste side. To spending hours out side digging holes, making mud pies and playing night games.

My simple is long conversations with my husband, cuddling, kisses, just looking at each other and not talking about the kids.

My simple doesn’t have hours in front of screens wasting away for nothing. My simple is a full life.

My simple is reading, learning, loving, eating, dancing, running, laughing, being more.