I love my kids but come on

Today, was my day off from work and if I was kid less I would have slept in and spent it all day in my pjs watching Netflix and eating a shit load of food. But instead it was spent with an early wake up call from my 5 year after I just got my 6 month old back to asleep for the umpteen time. Tired I then get up with him which he then excitedly screams as he gets into our living room because he saw the video game that my husband bought for him setting out by the TV which that lovely happy scream wakes my sleeping baby and all I can think is FUDGE. F F F FffFFfF f f ffffff…. I just got him to sleep. I just got him the F to sleep. I go in pick him up and change another one of his dirty diapers all the while cursing my husband in my mind as he is nice and comfy in our warm bed and I am here again.

Again.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and my husband but sometimes I hate them all. I hate that it is always me me me ME getting up with the baby. I hate that it is always me changing the diapers. I hate that it is me that Wyatt wants when he wakes up. I hate that it is me doing the laundry, the dishes cleaning the toilets, I hate that it is me paying the bills and I hate that it is me always me alone putting the kids to bed.

Last night, the husband got invited to go out to a Jazz basketball game with his buddy and even though it was his day to watch the kids (his day off from work) I some how got stuck again with it all. So of course while he was there and I was home trying to settle a feverish Wyatt a teething Gunner with a dirty house and piles of laundry. I was cursing Cody again.

Then he came home and then kids stayed in their beds and we turned off the TV and we talked like how we did when we were dating. The hour turned into hours and then we went to bed together and right as we laid down Gunner fussed for his night feed and then right after Wyatt stumbled down into our room with a high fever and I was grateful. Grateful that I was married to a man who when we both are completely tired we can double team the kids with out hesitation. Him with the baby, me with the big kid. Parenting is hard and even though all I wanted today and last night was time to myself. (if I was being honest I’d say that pretty much last week I wanted that too.) I could not be more grateful for them and my husband.

But this momma needs a solo vacation asap.