Get the Junk out of my trunk.

Guys, we are like a week away from being on the TV show hoarders. No joke. (okay maybe a little) but I am currently going on day 3 -DAY THREE!! of decluttering Wyatt’s room. It is so bad. I did not realize how much stuff he has until it kept piling higher and higher and higher in the middle of the room as he pulled everything out from under his bed, toy boxes and off his bed. I was like stunned and overwhelmed and really I couldn’t breath in his room anymore.

Do you ever think that? Where when you are completely surrounded by clutter that it takes more to breath. It stressed me STREESSES me out.  By no means am I saying that I am a clean person. I have an issue of throwing my clothes on the floor and keeping them in laundry baskets. But I could go though my stuff in one day and get rid of 90% off it with out a second thought.

But bring my husband into decluttering and then throw in Wyatt. You get a full on 3 day event. Yes, E V E N T. I literally had to sit there and talk Wyatt thru giving away his stuffed animals (which all 30 of them spent their time covering his bed to the point that he could barely sleep on it.)

He was having a full on panic attack with the thought of donating these. He swore he knew who and when he got each one. I had to ask over 10 questions about each one until finally I threw my hands up and said nope you get to keep 10 that’s it. Choose now or I will choose for you.

Talk about a quick decision. He pulled 10 like that. Then he cried for a good 30 minutes before we could move onto the next area. The first day we spent 8 hours. (yes 8) in his room. And we got no where. Expect having piles of toys and blankets and stuffed animals hanging out in my living room so my dear husband could go through them and “make sure that they are not important” to give away too.

I went to work today and when I came home. The 8 bins full of toys were still there and the husband had 1 little box half way filled with ones he would be willing to part with. So we got no where.

We did have a conversation about how this Christmas we are going to only buy 1 toy per kid with a pair of jammies and then get a family and donate to them instead. Because I can not take toys and clutter anymore.

I am on a purging kick and I am determined to to get this junk out of my trunk aka house, life and soul. I need to be able to breath again in my house and piles of shit is not helping.

(Its like this in each room. and then wait until you go into the garage. FML)

Because throwing the laundry around doesn’t help a damn thing.

I have a problem where I basically create issues just because I become overstressed.  I have never been the person to sit back quietly and allow things to roll of my back. I tend to verbally get overly excited about all things everyone else is doing wrong and I will point it out and keep pointing it out until everyone basically feels like shit. Then when I have made everyone feel that way I feel better and expect them all to be okay with everything and then I question why they are all still pissed.

I did that yesterday.

Its was early. I just got the kids breakfast and was going to sit down and eat mine when Wyatt decided that he needed his tablet which was dead (again) and so he went searching for his “phone” (my old phone with apps left on it.) so he could watch Netflix. While he did that Isabella the puppy jumped up knocked his food of the table and ate it.

but instead of doing the logical thing and getting upset with the dog. I first got upset at Wyatt for leaving the table. Then I went on a rant about everything. Threw the dog outside picked up the non eaten food threw it back on the table and proceeded to yell about every mess that was in the house.

I threw the piles of laundry in the living room and threaten to get a maid to fold them and charge all of our tablets if we all couldn’t get this cleaning issue fixed.

My poor husband awoke to all this yelling and ranting and quietly picked up all the clothes I just threw around and put them in their baskets and took them to our room to fold later. Then left for work only kissing the kids goodbye.

I knew that second that I was the problem, not the house or the dog or even Wyatt’s dumb uncharged tablet.

Trying to make up for my rants takes days and after each one I have I tell myself that I am going to learn to not do those anymore but some how we still get here. So I cleaned. I put music on to lighten the mood. I took a shower and packed my kids up and went to my mom’s. Because she always makes me realize just how to be a mom again.

We swam in the her pool, bbq hamburgers and watched the Lego movie while eating popcorn. We laughed played games and just was with each other. It was what I needed to center myself again to realize what was important and that clean house I dreamed of where the puppy doesn’t eat our food or our tablets don’t run out a batteries and the kids listen and the baby sleeps threw the night and I exercise every day and pretend that I don’t sneak unhealthy food in the middle of the night.

Yeah, that place its not real because all those things happen and its never a good idea to rant and rave about them because it doesn’t do any good.

the old garbage bag trick

Well I did it, I pulled the old garbage bag trick on Wyatt. You know the one where you are so fed up with his toys all over  his room and you’ve asked and asked him to clean day after day and it never happens that  you finally take a huge garbage bag to his room and stuff all his toys that he didn’t clean in to it to get him to actually care about them and finally clean. Yeah, I did that.

and it worked.

He screamed and cried at every toy I stuffed in that bag but at the end of my stuffing he begged, pleaded with me to give him another chance that he will pick it all up he sweeeaarrs this time so I did I gave him 1 hour timed to clean his room including the bag I filled and that if it wasn’t clean when the timer went off that, that was it. No more chances.

I walked down stairs finished folding the laundry and listen to him sike him self up. “Wyatt you got this mom let you have these back but you have no time to cry about it now you have to hurry it pick everything up. I got this man, oh I better not loose Scooby do, or this toy and this one etc.”

and guess what, after an hour his room was cleaner than it has ever been. Plus he was so proud of himself that all day he talked about how fast and clean his room was. How he couldn’t believe he could do it that fast.

It was a great teaching moment. I just hope it works when he is 16 because who knows what he’s room will look like then.

Today I will stop acting like a single mother.

If you walked into my home today unannounced you would walk into a mess. Right now just in my living room my computer desk is covered with bills that have been unopened and you wouldn’t be able to sit on the computer chair because it is filled with jackets that have yet to be hung. You’d also scan over to the bookcases that are filled with random toys that Wyatt hasn’t put away even though I have asked him more than once to do so.  Then if you walked into my room you’d see a bunch of clothes all over the floor and you don’t want to see what the master bathroom looks like. Lets just say It’s a disaster and move on.  I could go on but I’ll spare you.

Why I am telling you all this? Because even though I have myself together at work. At home, it’s a different story. My husband tends to treat me like I am a stay at home mom even though him and I work the same amount. In his reality, I don’t work the same hours as he does so I should be the one who does all the house worthy stuff oh and all the kids stuff too. This tends to be one of our arguments that we cant seem to move on from.

My reality is that we should share it 50/50 but most time I get 90/10 of out him.

Cody claims that he has two jobs and yes he “does” but one of those jobs is a paper route early in the morning that his mom helps with. So he has to get up for an hour and half early in the morning and deliver papers every day but he doesn’t get up fold them or put the rubber band on or does it all by himself. All he does is wake up ONCE early in the morning and delivers them with his mom.

And yes he does work at his regular job which he works hard at and his really good at too and yes its in a retail grocery store which means that you do a lot with out a lot of people, hours or support.

But I do too.

I get up early in the morning too. More than once most times and I work at a retail store too. So for him to say that he does more just makes me want to punch him in the face because my god on the working front we do the same plus I do all the baths, all the cooking, all the bills, all the cleaning and guess what since we bought a house I do ALL THE YARD WORK TOO.

So you tell me who works harder? Him or me? and its not that I want to compare its that I want to make it clear that we are in this together. Him and I, Him doing housework me doing housework, Him dealing with the kids me dealing with the kids, Him dealing with the yard work me dealing with the yard work.  50/50

And when I finally decided that I cant do it all and still do me. I give up. I focus on myself and the kids and my job and then you see the house decline and the yard work pile up and the bills stay unpaid and that’s when he seems to notice and that’s when we get into a fight like we did last night.

Last week Cody bought popcorn at one the of the REAL soccer games and brought the bag home. Which this said bag ended up everywhere in the house. It would move from one room to the other and then finally yesterday it ended up in the garbage. Because god damn it I couldn’t take another thing in the wrong place anymore especially since no one was eating it.

so I thought. So I threw it away.

Cody got off early after a long meeting he had in SLC and picked him self up food because he doesn’t eat what I cook ever. So when he got home all he wanted to do was sit down and eat because he hasn’t eaten all day (even though the meeting had food there he didn’t eat it because he is a picky god damn eater. not my fault or theirs just his.) This didn’t happen how he wanted.

I got back home the same time he did but instead of work that day I was dealing with transporting the kids from preschool, doctor appointments, karate and a pharmacy visit with very little sleep I had the night before due to my sick kids plus I did laundry and the dishes cook breakfast and lunch and was about to cook dinner.

Since he was home I did what he does to me which is expect him to help out. So the baby was fussing and it was past dinner time and I had yet to cook anything I handed him the baby and went into the kitchen to cook dinner. Some how in there I cant remember he had to get up from his fast food to get something. I am unsure what but when he did the puppy jumped up on the couch and ate his hamburger.

This lead to yelling at the dog and looking for the popcorn I threw away earlier in the day. When he found it in the garbage he started to demand to me why I did that. Which I rolled my eyes and tried to ignore. He then put the baby down on the floor while he dug it out of the can (it was still in the bag but covered in a ton of food.) Gunner being sick didn’t want to be on the ground he wanted to be held and he has yet to eat a bottle or dinner so he was extra fussy he started crying. This lead to me suggesting that maybe he should pick him up and maybe get him something to eat.

Well all hell broke loose because of that suggestion. He started yelling at me about how he has been at work all day and he is tired hasn’t eaten blah blah blah. so then I yelled and said oh really really you do soooooo much and I flipped. FLIPPED to the point that a threw something at Cody grabbed the baby put him in the high chair grabbed some finger food for him to eat all the while cooking dinner and dealing with Wyatt who is “staaarving mom”.

So I went off even more and yelled about how he does nothing that all he does is sit in front of the TV and that Wyatt hasn’t had a bath for a week because he doesn’t ever give him one before he puts him to bed because that’s my job but I am too busy trying to sooth a sick baby who has his first ear infection who all he wants to be held all day long and never sleep at night.

He claims that he does help out and I say really then prove it. Prove it! do it with out me asking you too or suggesting that you do it and then I stopped talking finished cooking the meal and he finally gets up and starts to feed the baby and Wyatt dinner which leads to him later bathing Wyatt for the the first time ever on his own.

and I go in the other room and eat my dinner and make a conscious decision that I am not going to baby him anymore that I am going to treat him like the adult that he is and I am going to expect that he puts in 50/50 effort with me in taking care of this household because as a working mother I am not a single mother and I am no longer going to act like one.

Today I am creating a daily routine check off list for the entire family. That has a job for everyone on it to take care of so its not just me doing everything. It will work even if it kills me.

and that my friends is the end of my rant.

But hey, at least the dishes are clean.

Thursday, I had the same day off as the husband and we planned ahead of time that it would be a day of cleaning. A day where the dishes that have been in the sink for over a month actually get washed and the toilets… you do not want to know the look of them. It was a word that is way worse then disgusting.

I was actually excited that we’d get this house back into order and when I woke up Thursday I went straight to the kitchen and put my purple cloves on and dug my hands in the dirty water that has been sitting there soaking the dishes over a month and empty it. The stench, oh the stench people was way out of control. Waaaay out of control. And the layer of mould… gross.

G R O S S.

Immediately my pregnant self loss control and I threw up on that same mouldy water. Sorry, but I did. You would have too. Hey I still stuck it out and kept going and the dishes well they are clean and I vowed to only use paper dishes from now on.

The husband took care of the toilets and vacuumed. Clean out the cat litter and smashed all of the soda cans. He took out the garbage and dug out my books from the garage so I could actually put them out my empty bookshelves.

And we did all this while Wyatt was at preschool. We then picked Wyatt up and headed to the travel agency to book our Disneyland Vacation for October. A month after I would be having the baby.

Originally it was going to be just Cody and Wyatt going but then the nice lady talked and it made me feel jealous so I convinced Cody that I could go too and that taking a maybe one month old wouldn't be that bad. I could do it! I mean I went back to work full time after 2 weeks after having a C-section with Wyatt and I also hiked for a week in Zion's last summer after I had emergency appendix surgery a week before. I could totally handle a 1 month old in Disney right?

Well as we headed home to go back and clean the rest of the house I choose to take Wyatt to a movie instead and Cody headed into work to close since he is short employees. So as I am typing this I currently have laundry still folded on the floor in the living room and more to fold smashed in a basket in the laundry and still more in the dryer. The dishes are clean but still need to put away so they are sitting on the counter. Wyatt’s toys are all over, some in each room and the books Cody got out for me well they are still in the box and my bookshelves are still empty. So the clean house I envision is still non-existent. But hey at least the dishes are clean.

Oh ps, I am slowly getting around to those who are new here. HIIIIIIIIIIII and HELLLOO!! Thanks for stopping by!!! and can I say I have some great posts coming up… my plans are to talk about raising a sensitive boy and the “brave badge” that helped him talk to people. Also to talk about a pooping issue we have been having. And a chore chart in the works and dare I say I am going to talk about where I am at in the pregnancy and also the fact that the husband refuses to choose a name. And how my work doesn't realize that I am 4 months away from not being in the HR office because of my maternity leave and what that means to them and how you should act doing an interview to actually get the job. So look out cause I will be blogging. I hope you stick around with me.

Okay, now I will leave you with a photo from my actually big girl camera! (wait, I still have it?) Cause no post is good with out pictures.

This is from the Color Festival where my camera decided that it would be a good idea not to work. Poo, so out of the 100+ photos this is the only one I could save that I actually like. I cried, when I got home and found out that really none turned out because of my card reader. But hey at least this one is of Wyatt. So enjoy.