Goodbye Fluffy.

Yesterday was a hard day over at the Christensen’s household. We had to give up one of pet family members, Mr. Fluffy pants. We have never been pet owners who have given up an animal so coming to this decision was really hard. We made this choice because having 5 animals running around and 2 kids was making the house a little to wild and Mr fluffy was one of the main instigators. He was also picking on our sweet little Callie who is the oldest cat (animal) we have. It was causing her to loose her hair and not eat. So drastic changes needed to be made.

We found fluffy a new home with a dog friend and loving pet owners who just adore him like we did. I know that he will be well taken care of and enjoy not having to compete with all the other animals.

Wyatt and Gunner already miss him as well as I do. We miss his fluffy fox tail and his snuggles but we already feel the difference in the household.

Goodbye Fluffy, enjoy your new home.

That’s not me.

I’ve been pretty distant from writing on my blog for a lot of reasons. Mostly because I didn’t want to admit my failure to the world. But I know for me if I don’t then I can not move on and grow.

I fell hard on day 24 of my Whole30 and I have yet to pick myself up. Right now I am sipping on a wild cherry Pepsi after eating a cheese sandwich and I have a major headache which I know is do to my poor choices of what I had for lunch. I have been to embarrassed to talk about why I fail and why I haven't stop falling. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I was doing so good and then my father in law passed away on Feb 04 instead of me dealing with that head on and like a big girl I found the biggest candy bar I could in my husbands stash and I secretly ate it while my kids were napping. I scarfed that sucker down and then I cried. Cried for my father in law not because I ate that candy bar.

Then I pretended for the last 6 days of my whole30. I pretended to eat whole in front of people. I would make good healthy meals, eat them and then when I had a chance to be alone I’d go to taco bell and order a huge burrito with cash so it wouldn’t show up on the bank account and I’d inhale it.

Then my “whole30” was up and I weighed myself and I lost 16lbs! and I was so excited and thrilled. I couldn’t believe it. Then we had my FIL memorial and I ate for the “first time” regular food and I didn’t reintroduce food in like I was suppose too. and I openly ate out with the husband and didn’t cook. I let my veggies I had in my fridge rot, I stopped going to the gym everyday and I made it to two classes in the last two weeks.

I just didn’t care enough. It was easy to not work on being healthy. But then I started to feel gross, sick, bloated, gassy, and huge. And I knew, I always knew that this wasn’t me. This isn't who I want to be.

I don’t want to be the mean grumpy mom who sits on the couch and yells at her kids because she has a food headache and is tired for doing nothing all day. Who hates herself. That’s not me.

And even though in that 2 week melt down I gained it all back and lost myself again I am starting over. I am picking myself back up, dusting off my shoulders and being 100% honest with you all because its important to you to know that it happens and to me.

March 1st is my new true whole 30 start date. I am not going to half fast it this time either. I am going full throttle on this bitch. I am going to prep, plan, eat, exercise. I am going to become that women I know I am. That bad ass bitch who is stronger then fuck  and who kicks some serious ass.

I am going to be healthy and not focus on loosing weight but focus on being healthy in every aspect of my life.

I am going to stumble through this and you will too but that doesn’t mean we can’t win. I am going to win this battle this year even if it kills me.

8/52 weeks

“A portrait of my kids, once a week, every week in 2015”

::Wyatt sporting his purple belt for the very last time. He passed his karate belt test and is now a green belt::

::Gunner playing peek-a-boo in the curtains::

Ukulele Mornings

The last couple of mornings we’ve spent on my bed basked in the morning light playing a broken hand me down ukulele. Making up songs, laughing and singing and loving. It normal ends up in a pillow fight or jump on the bed contest between the boys. It’s the best part of my day.

7/52

“A portrait of my kids, once a week, every week in 2015”

::Finding the morning light::

First haircut

So Handsome

6/52 weeks

“A portrait of my kids, once a week, every week in 2015”

::Gunner rocking a diaper and chucks::  ::Wyatt cuddling Mr. Fluff Tail::

5/52 weeks

“A portrait of my kids, once a week, every week in 2015”

::Peek-a-boo::